I use the Xbox 360. Well, saying that I'm more in-tune with my Xbox 360 than any other human counterpart would be more accurate, judging by the amount of time I waste on there. So imagine my disgust when I find my NAT type is set to Moderate! Yes people, I have no idea what it is, but it's apparently bad. There's all kinds of warnings popping up and blasting at me, so I call the Xbox 360 support line. If you're against racism, my following comments could be construed to be prejudiced, but believe me, some of my best friends are Asian! I mean, my Playstation 2 is made in Japan and I love that thing like a best friend if that counts!
Of course, I ring up and who do I get? An half Asian, half Indian hybrid with a Canadian accent. You cannot make this shit up. It's like taking the most annoying telemarketer and telling them to man the help desk for quantum mechanics. So suffice to say, all I understood from the conversation was that my NAT type needed to be set to Open (like my one was some kind of prude or something), and that I needed to type in a bunch of codes into somewhere. I look down at this paper with stuff like TCP and UDP and it explodes my mind. I don't know where to start, so where do I ask? A teenage friend of a friend online from Australia.
To tell the truth, he was far more helpful than any help desk. He was spewing gibberish out at me like he was the love child of Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking. Turns out I needed to find my IP address for my modem and use some port-forwarding crap to open up these ports to the Xbox 360 servers or something! Everything was going well until I went online and everything was fine. My experience with computers is that if everything is going well, you are about to get screwed. Sure enough I restart the modem. No errors pop up! Hooray! I test my connection again, to make sure. The errors begin again. Sigh. I test it again. Now it says it can't even connect to the internet, even though I can manually. Grumble.
I go back to the ports and I find they've all disappeared. Where did they go? I can't have some random portal flapping around in my cyber space can I? It might get together with some other portals and start some trouble and then I'd really be screwed. So I enter them in again. I restart the modem, and the same thing happens. Except now the Xbox 360's IP address has been swapped with the computer's! Then the cycle starts again, and ends up with the IP address swapping over several times, 4 hours wasted of my life, a still Moderate NAT type and my in a defeated state on the floor hugging my console.
Well, the friend said nothing bad should have happened, except that this route should have worked. The story of my life with computers: I have problem, problem happens on weekend when no help lines are open, problem nearly gets fixed, revenge of the problem, problem wins. I have decided on one thing however; I'm going to lure and capture a computer nerd and keep him as my own personal helper. It's the only way.
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